The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love carries immense significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the their website Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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