The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in explanation to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful sensations of destination, excitement, wellness, nearness, and love .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, click here now states that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is crucial. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is Bonuses essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Mind”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar