The Sexuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Many gay guys desire to find out from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, he has a good point though often it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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